Thursday, 22 May 2008

Pass us the tissues - our boy's a gonner!

Oonagh Robinson on Week Nine of The Apprentice...

No! No! No!
He’s only been gone a few short hours and already the world seems a duller, less interesting place.
Raef the cravat wearing charmer, Raef the floppy haired Shakespeare-quoting sophisticate, Raef the one who everyone in Britain thought was going to win this series of The Apprentice... gone in the blink of an eye.
And it’s all that blardy Sian Lloyd’s flaming fault.
Well, her and that blithering idiot Michael and his brilliant idea to remake Ben Hur just to sell a box of “I Heart Tissues.”
God, have none of them watched The Apprentice before?
Every year, one team does really brilliantly on the advert task - only to fail at the last minute because they forget to mention the product.
Alex and the rest of the All New Team Loser looked just as gob-smacked as the rest of us as they realised their appalling Atishu promo had WON because... well, it did exactly what it said on the tin. (Or, to be accurate, hideous yellow box filled with images of snotty noses).
Altogether now: “Don’t worry, they’re antibacterial!”
So, okay, Raef’s team forgot to mention that bit.
Indeed they were so pleased with getting Sian and the two “Di Caprio-esque” kids and everything, they forgot to even mention they were selling tissues at all.
But that final twist was just too cruel.
Surely, the ghastly Michael - aka Fagin from Oliver - deserved the chop after his 7000th appearance in the boardroom.
Or Claire? She’s a BRAND MANAGER for goodness sake - shouldn’t she have known a bit about how to create a brand?
But no, Raef gallantly took it on the chin so that those two boneheads could survive another week.
The only positive thing about it all is that we can now probably look forward to seeing Raef’s Sky Masterson in Cameron Mackintosh’s next production of Guys n Dolls.
"Luck be a lady tonight, luck be a lady tonight...."