Telly Talk

Emmerdale
Farmers have fallow fields; Emmerdale has fallow plotlines – the ones in between the good bits that make them seem more exciting.And this was a pretty fallow week. The most interesting thing we learned was that you need to be registered under the Porcine Waste Purveyance Act in order to sell pig s**t. Who says telly can’t be educational?Luckily, we’re back to the good stuff next week in the show’s best plotline... the baby swap plot. Mel decides she’d rather not know the outcome of a DNA test to confirm Arthur’s parentage, so gathers up her brood and attempts to flee the country. Ashley’s no action man, but even he springs into motion to prevent the child that could be his son from exiting his life for good. Tragically, no one thought to ask Laurel where she stands in all this mess, and Hilary is aghast to find her daughter can’t bring herself to want little Arthur. In a bid to win the forthcoming Village Pub of the Year competition, Val bans the Dingles from the Woolpack. It’ll take more than that, dear.