Thursday, 1 May 2008

Cards on the table - Kevin, you're fired!

Oonagh Robinson on Week Six of The Apprentice...

“Bathe less, shower more...”
A worthy sentiment indeed, but let’s be clear here. If anyone ever sent me a greetings card inscribed with such a message, a smack in the mouth would be the obvious reaction.
Nevertheless, Vicky Pollard look-alike Kevin Shaw thought his new line of environmentally themed cards were going to save the planet. Or “any planet” actually.
Thanks mainly to terrifying Jenny Celerier and her unfeasibly enormous ego, Kev’s team took a wrong turn during last night’s creative task and just kept driving. Or cycling.
Not even the “inspirational” team leader could explain exactly who would buy the green cards. Or why. Or when.
Even when client after client - not to mention S’ralan himself - pointed out that the idea of buying a wasteful card was fundamentally at odds with the environmentally friendly theme, Kev was having none of it.
“Yeah, but, no, but... I think you’re wrong,” he kept muttering, trying to sound convincing.
Maybe he had a point. After all Tesco (or is it Tesco’s? Or Tescos’) bought a couple of thousand of the blighters.
Truly, these were some of the most brilliantly cringeworthy scenes in the series so far.
The sequence where Kev waffled on for several hours in the car, while sidekick Alex desperately chewed on the inside of his cheek to stifle his laughter said it all.
Talking of which, Alex didn’t really contribute much last night did he?So why didn’t he get it in the neck like poor little Sara - who had just about the only decent idea for a theme at that first meeting (in Eid etc)?
Luckily, S’ralan saw through the nasty plot and sacked Kevin instead. Good for him.
Anyway, back to the most important question of the night...
... where DO you put the apostrophe in Singles Day?


Anonymous said...

The apostrophe must be after the s, but what did it matter anyway? Both team had rubbish ideas. Raif may well win, methinks!