Friday, 16 May 2008

Poor Maria Connor. She’s lost her baby. Her husband’s finally got it on with his fancy piece. And, to make matters worse, she seems to have spent the past 17 weeks trapped in a baggy cream cowl-neck sweater. Time to change out of it now, dear, especially if you want to get your man back.
As Maria cowered at Fiz's, Old Cruella was luring Liam to her chic city pad/ tart’s boudoir with a special extended remix of The Drugs Don’t Work. Which seemed to go on for nearly as long as Maria’s been in that sweater. We're not surprised Liam was in a grouchy mood the morning after. If he was anything like us, he had the wretched Verve track lodged in his head for the rest of the week.
Meanwhile, Gail was meeting with her dad for the first time. Gail’s dad, Ted, seems lovely. As does Audrey. What went wrong with Gail?
Ted’s also gay or "not normal" as Gail blunderingly put it.
"Not normal?" he protested, one eyebrow raised.
"I’m a Blairite!" stuttered Gail, trying to make amends. "I voted for Blair!"
An unwitting Audrey then floated in, batted her eyelashes at her old flame and asked him if he’d like to decamp to the Rovers.
"Oh, Ted won’t be decamping anywhere," laughed the fabulous Tina.
Classic Corrie. We can’t wait until David finds out. Do you think he’ll be spraying graffiti on his grandad’s walls the way he did the Grimshaws’, the little homophobe?
Now, we really want to see Sally take her rightful place in the only Coronation Street conservatory, if only because we’d like to see her smack poor "working class" Kev’s hand, every time he reaches for a can of lager. But next week, Clur gets cold feet..