Soapsuds - what's the point of Corrie's Natasha?

WE’D like to have a little rant about Natasha on CORONATION STREET.

And we know what you’re going to say – “Natasha? Natasha who?” because that’s what everyone says.

Natasha is another one of those recently-introduced, slightly “meh” characters like Poppy the transvestite-looking barmaid (you know... the one who’s become such good pals with Tara, she can divulge what Dev got up to during their break-up.)

Natasha’s the annoyingly smirky hairdresser who’s currently bedding boggle-eyed Tone. Tony, like the rest of us, seems to spend the best part of every episode forgetting Natasha exists. Then, she’ll spring at him, outside Audrey’s, trying her best to be all pouty and Angelina-like as she spouts lines like, “I’ll have to get an injunction on you”. Sadly, since she has the broad Lancs twang of Big Glen off Dinnerladies, her role as the local sexpot doesn’t convince.

Natasha aside, Corrie’s been quite good this week. They’ve resurrected Daryl’s mam who reminds us of happy, pre-Windass days.

“I’ll be no use until I’ve had a fag,” she informed Daryl as she swanned into the kebab shop.

“Then we can play ‘spot the difference’” retorted Minnie, her rival for the high-flying kebab gig.

Elsewhere, we wondered if Norris should have a sign on the Kabin door. “We don’t approve of nacky-noo in here”. It’d be one way of keeping Natasha at bay, anyway.

Be honest, you didn’t for one minute think that Zainab was having an affair over in EASTENDERS did you?

The fluctuating moods, the secret texts from “Bob,” the pretty new scarf? We guessed it was all to do with mysterious elder son Syed within about three seconds.

Oh well. Perhaps the writers have learned their lesson about dragging a mystery out from that whole Danielle saga (sob) and just wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.

Can’t say we’re that interested in what Syed has been up to and whether he’ll make it up with his father.

Indeed, we’re far more intrigued about what’s happening between Masood and Jane - with their furtive glances and, er, titillating tea towel flirting.

But we suppose the prodigal son does provide a bit of welcome eye candy in a show that’s seriously lacking such important ingredients.

Which brings us to Phil Mitchell.

He’s fallen off the wagon rather spectacularly these days - meaning he’s finally got it together with the awesome Shirley. Hooray.

We aren’t half enjoying his drunken exploits, especially his penchant for Shirl’s surprisingly glamorous dressing gown.

And what with all that family’s recent woes, it’s nice to see at least one member knows how to enjoy himself in style.

It’s just a shame it’s all bound to end in tears...