Ze Restaurant - life's no picnic

So can anyone explain to us why so many people want to run a restaurant when they can’t actually cook?Raymond sure doesn’t seem to know. In fact, so despairing was he about all the terrible twosomes who remain in The Restaurant (BBC2, Wed), he refused, in a fit of pique, to give anyone his “Restaurant of the Week” award. And frankly, we can’t blame him.This week’s test meant the couples had to offer a take-away menu, alongside their normal service. Between them, they offered a delicious concoction of 14-hour-old sarnies (yum), something called clangers (puff pastry containing jam and mince) and oven chips. To complete the picture, there was the Chinese bloke who can’t cook Chinese and the English woman who can’t cook English food and gets mighty offended if anyone implies otherwise.Not surprisingly, none of the regatta-goers with their caviar and champagne really fancied purchasing a box of shriveled-looking sarnies.As the Restaurant stepped up its spooky, “Harry Potter” soundtrack, we couldn’t guess who might be going in “ze shallange”. They all deserved it.In the end, Rah-mond spared Lindsie and Tim. We were glad of that. Poor old Linz had already been through the works, thanks to that shouty, sweary tool who refused to pay for his food. And he didn’t even stay to sample the delights of a clanger. He wants to count himself lucky he wasn’t dining in one of the other restaurants. They REALLY can’t cook.The only other couple to stay out of “ze shallange” were smiley, happy cuddle-bunnies Russell and Michele. Word to the wise... we reckon Raymond wouldn’t mind “urpening a restaurant” with them. If they do triumph, we’ll be steering well clear of their eatery – they’re so irritating. But then, maybe we just don’t have cheerful souls.