Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Do we like Gok? Not a lot

There are many things in this life we do not really understand...
Quantum physics... the lyrics to Whiter Shade of Pale... the strange layout of Debenhams in Nottingham...
But possibly the thing we understand least of all at the moment is the nation’s love of Gok Wan.
Maybe it’s the silly glasses, or that annoying uppy downy voice. Or possibly it’s just his obsession with getting women to take all their clothes off.
But while everyone else we meet seems to think he is some kind of fabulous force for empowering women, we are obviously alone in considering him a total idiot.
He was up to his old tricks again this week in Miss Naked Beauty (C4, Tues) - a contest to find a real "natural" beauty queen.
The eventual winner will, hopes Gok, become a role model to show Britain that you can be beautiful whatever you look like. Hmm.
Because Saint Gok was involved, obviously millions of women of all ages, shapes and sizes queued up to audition.
In the end, they were whittled down to about 25 - who were promptly herded into a disused swimming pool and drenched with a fire hose. Charming.
It was all to get the contestants to stop wearing make up or something, we’re not quite sure.
Anyway, inevitably, this ridiculous show was co-hosted by the ubiquitous Myleene Klass.
"What you’ve just done is amazing," she told one tearful woman who was not surprisingly very upset after the humiliating dousing. "You’re incredible."
Later Myleene dragged another woman to a mirror.
"It’s been years since you’ve seen yourself without make-up hasn’t it?" she counseled.
What really? What about before she puts her make-up on in the morning? Surely she sees herself with no make-up on then? Myleene, you’re an idiot aren’t you?
And now you mention it, why was Myleene allowed to wear make-up for this show ? And the women on the judging panel? And Gok?
It’s double standards, we tell you.
Perhaps the most telling thing about this supposed "revolution" for the UK beauty world was the 12 finalists who were picked to go on to the next round.
All were very young, very slim and very pretty.